I feel old today. Not in the 'oh my bones are creaking' or the 'God I hate kids these days!' sense, you understand. Balls to it if I'm going to go on one of those tangents; it's not like that hasn't been written and read and then written all over again.
What I mean is... I feel like a substantial portion of my lived has been lived. Not the most significant portion, or the most worthwhile portion. Just a stretch of time that I can look back on and think 'wow, a lot has happened here'. Now as harrowing a thought you think that might be for me to be dwelling on, it hasn't shitted me up nearly as much as I thought it might.
Let me start from the top.
Abandoned breweries. That's right, this life affirming epiphany came to me whilst dicking about in an abandoned fucking brewery. And when I say 'let me start from the top', I really do mean from the top. On a roof - to be exact - overlooking the breathtaking landscape that is Sheffield. But when the sun is setting and drawing a close on what has been a rather spectacularly beautiful day and you get the entire cityscape sprawled out in front of you, and you catch glimpses of buildings that have so much personal meaning, whether they be University tower blocks or former halls of residence or malevolently imperious hospitals, you can't help but take a moment and appreciate the very fact that a chapter of your life is soon to be finishing. And that's exactly how I felt today.
My life, like the life of everyone else, is ticking along. One day I'll be having this same moment, looking back over time that is yet to pass and wondering where it all went. Until then, I guess I'll just amuse myself speculating over what that time will bring.
Fat stacks, I hope.
I grow old... I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
