Revelations.

Right then, first thing on the agenda is to at least acknowledge articulate panda's (aka MY BESTEST BUDDY ANDY) birthday today. If general life musings and thoughts on the modern media world float your boat, then you should click this juicy link to check out his blog.

http://andrewchrysostom.blogspot.com

Don't be fooled by his 23 years though, his immaturity knows no bounds.

Now then, it's been three weeks since my last update, and honestly it hasn't been the greatest experience of my life. Massive tiredness, aching joints, hospital trips, painful teeth, vital organs showing little enthusiasm to do their jobs. So on, so forth. Up until today I was starting to get into that whole mentality of 'oh why did this have to happen to meeeee.' I mean, not to brag or anything, but I've gone through quite a great deal these past few weeks. It's been... tricky. Emotionally exhausting. Physically testing. You get the idea. With all this in mind, it was very easy to fall into a thought process of dismissing everything as not fair and believing that the whole world is up against you.

Like I said, this all changed today. I don't want to throw out names or type out paragraphs of condolences as quite frankly, it'd be a bit strange for me to do so, but today I discovered (quite accidentally I might add) that a girl on my course at uni died not too long ago of... cancer. Now let's not kid ourselves, people pass away because of cancer on a daily basis. It's a horrible disease and in some forms can be absolutely devastating. But today I couldn't help but think of the phrase 'why me' in a completely different light. Why am I the lucky one who has such a good chance of overcoming my condition? Why am I the lucky one who gets the opportunity to write a blog about the whole thing? Why am I the lucky one who gets to see this whole ordeal as the moment before the rest of my life? There's no denying that for me, things have been hard. But for others cancer is incredibly more difficult, and can not only poison the life it takes hold of, but destroy the lives around it too.

I saw myself as a bit of a selfish arse this morning. Yet I'm all for redemption. From now on, it's thinking positively all the way. I owe it to the people who don't make it as far as I have. As Greybeard has said so many times, I'm lucky to have come this far so quickly.

I also want to start doing some charity work, maybe after I make a full recovery. Anyone know of any good fundraising ideas? Let me know.

Big (awkward) love.

Ryan.