i'm sat in a fine public house sipping on a beer whilst clinging onto any internet that i can get my dirty little hands on. it's frustrating that i cannot lay down a proper entry as i've got to be going soon. and there's probably gonna be a few more quick, couple paragraph entries such as this until i get online full time, which may not be for another 3 weeks. NOOOOOOO.
so i'll keep this brief. the new house is full of win, great result for west ham last night, obinna is an absolute badman, and i don't think i'm gonna be watching anything as raw as that this is england 86 closing 10 minutes in a long, long time.
that. was. messed. up.
i'm gonna go to a plant shop and see what plants are looking shit hot this time of year. laters.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Thursday, 16 September 2010
to the north, to the north
OH HI INTERNET. it's been a manic few days to be honest - packing away your life has its stressful moments, and it's turned me into a bit of a bloody female. like how women um and ah over outfits and calories and all that bollocks i've been equally undecided in what the hell i take and what i don't when i make the move back up to sheffield tomorrow. it's truly incredible how much crap one can amass over the space of a year or two.
hmm. reading that back i come across as a right sexist bell end. worry not dear reader for that is not my alignment. last year in fact i wrote a (grade) killer essay on judith butler and simone de beauvoir and it was rather interesting. in the sense that i never realised how far procrastination could take me.
WHEY.
that was poor. we move on. my last entry gave you a brief insight into my emotionally shattered state of a few days ago, but FEAR NOT for everything appears to have been resolved. this uni business has had me on a pleasure beach roller coaster for the past two years, but things appear to be on the up this time which is great news. when you mentally prepare yourself for a whole year of what will no doubt be intense work, a few setbacks can really leave a dent on you. thankfully i'm back on track and ready to kick third year english literature so hard in the balls that they'll be hanging out of its figurative mouth like a set of swings. BOOM.
enough of me. this weekend sees the irons taking on stoke at at the britannia stadium with an early kick-off to boot, and suffice to say i'm a bit nervous. see last week i wasn't so devastated as fellow fans were over losing to chelsea. yes yes in the end it was more than comfortable for the blues but we didn't give so bad an account of ourselves as the newspapers and online reports or those dicks on talk sport suggested.
our midfield managed to conjure up a good few moves for our attack and we had the chelsea defence backtracking on more than one occasion. i feel had we been a bit sharper then we might have put a few of those chances away. obinna looks lively up front and if we have barerra featuring a bit more then a can see those two linking up rather nicely. none of our forwards look sharp enough at the moment and that needs to be rectified. i can't really see benni mccarthy being our saviour in that department though. apparently he's been 'sorting himself out' recently. the only thing i see him sorting out for himself is a nice batch of pancakes doused in maple syrup with lashings of cream and butter for dinner right now. the fat bastard.
OMNOMNOMNOM
but the main concern, as it has been for a while, is the defence, which at times has looked to be comprised of a bunch of schoolboys. and this is what worries me for saturday. that big fucker kenwyne jones is going to make upson and co more nervous than an awkward teenager at the school disco. and despite their absolute negative approach to playing football stoke have a fairly handy midfield to supply balls to jones. if he gets the best of us then we're truly fucked.
i hate stoke. and pulis as well. something about him just comes across as incredibly smug. that stupid baseball cap just screams the 'I'M A TRADITIONAL ENGLISH MANAGER HOW D'YA LIKE ME NOW?' vibe. and yes, i know he's welsh. point remains. i hate the mentality of these managers. kick around the opposition and play shit football and then defend it afterward as 'maintaining the integrity of the english game.' no, it's holding this country's football back. pass back, pass back, pass across, HOOF TO THE BIG MAN. it's ugly.
^^ prick.
hmm. reading that back i come across as a right sexist bell end. worry not dear reader for that is not my alignment. last year in fact i wrote a (grade) killer essay on judith butler and simone de beauvoir and it was rather interesting. in the sense that i never realised how far procrastination could take me.
WHEY.
that was poor. we move on. my last entry gave you a brief insight into my emotionally shattered state of a few days ago, but FEAR NOT for everything appears to have been resolved. this uni business has had me on a pleasure beach roller coaster for the past two years, but things appear to be on the up this time which is great news. when you mentally prepare yourself for a whole year of what will no doubt be intense work, a few setbacks can really leave a dent on you. thankfully i'm back on track and ready to kick third year english literature so hard in the balls that they'll be hanging out of its figurative mouth like a set of swings. BOOM.
enough of me. this weekend sees the irons taking on stoke at at the britannia stadium with an early kick-off to boot, and suffice to say i'm a bit nervous. see last week i wasn't so devastated as fellow fans were over losing to chelsea. yes yes in the end it was more than comfortable for the blues but we didn't give so bad an account of ourselves as the newspapers and online reports or those dicks on talk sport suggested.
our midfield managed to conjure up a good few moves for our attack and we had the chelsea defence backtracking on more than one occasion. i feel had we been a bit sharper then we might have put a few of those chances away. obinna looks lively up front and if we have barerra featuring a bit more then a can see those two linking up rather nicely. none of our forwards look sharp enough at the moment and that needs to be rectified. i can't really see benni mccarthy being our saviour in that department though. apparently he's been 'sorting himself out' recently. the only thing i see him sorting out for himself is a nice batch of pancakes doused in maple syrup with lashings of cream and butter for dinner right now. the fat bastard.
OMNOMNOMNOM
but the main concern, as it has been for a while, is the defence, which at times has looked to be comprised of a bunch of schoolboys. and this is what worries me for saturday. that big fucker kenwyne jones is going to make upson and co more nervous than an awkward teenager at the school disco. and despite their absolute negative approach to playing football stoke have a fairly handy midfield to supply balls to jones. if he gets the best of us then we're truly fucked.
i hate stoke. and pulis as well. something about him just comes across as incredibly smug. that stupid baseball cap just screams the 'I'M A TRADITIONAL ENGLISH MANAGER HOW D'YA LIKE ME NOW?' vibe. and yes, i know he's welsh. point remains. i hate the mentality of these managers. kick around the opposition and play shit football and then defend it afterward as 'maintaining the integrity of the english game.' no, it's holding this country's football back. pass back, pass back, pass across, HOOF TO THE BIG MAN. it's ugly.
^^ prick.
in any case, we need a win on saturday. so so bad. i'm never one for writing off west ham (06/07 anyone?) but if we don't sort ourselves out soon it's gonna be an absolute beast of a mountain to climb if we're gonna stay in the top flight. COYI.
and with that, i'll leave it. enjoy your football this weekend whoever you follow. this might be the last blog in a while from me because i'm not so sure what the internet situation is in my sheffield yard. hopefully we'll be up and running asap so all five or so of you readers wont be deprived for too long.
keep it tidy.
keep it tidy.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
"they should call him ASS-KICK instead!"
with this blog in its relative infancy, i'm yet to really use it as an emotional outpouring when i'm feeling like the whole world is against me. and luckily for you dear reader i wont be doing that today, because to be honest it's not really my style. i get why people do it; sometimes we really need to vent. but without having a clear indication of who actually reads this blog i feel like my moans and groans would fall upon deaf ears. big deaf ears that would laugh at me for being such a massive wuss. so instead of going on about all my problems that would make avram grant feel like he's skateboarding down easy street with a 99 flake, i'm going to talk about why i'm one of the luckiest people on this planet. plot twist you say? no, it's simple really.
after receiving a triple whammy of bad news i immediately contacted my girlfriend, who effortlessly calmed me down after i was quite frankly an emotional mess. in the space of about 10 minutes i was thinking rationally again and planning my next move for the morning (cause life IS like a game of fucking chess at times i swear to god). this isn't the first time she's sorted me out after i've gone a bit mental, and as i'm writing this now i cannot think of anything to type that would give justice to how grateful and lucky i feel. i love her so much. and i'm not writing this as a means to rub it in to anyone who doesn't share these emotions for someone else. i'm just saying how incredibly lucky i am to have someone such as her, and i'll never take it for granted. merci beaucoup ellise.
i feel i'm venturing into deeply personal matters here, so on that note i feel i should balance the scales a bit with this entry. last saturday i bought and watched kick ass. and fuck me did i enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it the first time! i could talk about it for ages it's such an amazing movie. right from the very concept to the gnarly ass fights to the well executed american humour to NICOLAS FUCKING CAGE this movie is truly excellent and i would recommend that anyone who has any sort of interest in superhero flicks and comic books should watch it straight away. to anyone else don't be such a moron and watch it straight away.
that's all for this evening. cheers for reading if you made it this far. i'll make sure the next post is a bit less about me and a bit more about awesome.
after receiving a triple whammy of bad news i immediately contacted my girlfriend, who effortlessly calmed me down after i was quite frankly an emotional mess. in the space of about 10 minutes i was thinking rationally again and planning my next move for the morning (cause life IS like a game of fucking chess at times i swear to god). this isn't the first time she's sorted me out after i've gone a bit mental, and as i'm writing this now i cannot think of anything to type that would give justice to how grateful and lucky i feel. i love her so much. and i'm not writing this as a means to rub it in to anyone who doesn't share these emotions for someone else. i'm just saying how incredibly lucky i am to have someone such as her, and i'll never take it for granted. merci beaucoup ellise.
i feel i'm venturing into deeply personal matters here, so on that note i feel i should balance the scales a bit with this entry. last saturday i bought and watched kick ass. and fuck me did i enjoy it as much as i enjoyed it the first time! i could talk about it for ages it's such an amazing movie. right from the very concept to the gnarly ass fights to the well executed american humour to NICOLAS FUCKING CAGE this movie is truly excellent and i would recommend that anyone who has any sort of interest in superhero flicks and comic books should watch it straight away. to anyone else don't be such a moron and watch it straight away.
that's all for this evening. cheers for reading if you made it this far. i'll make sure the next post is a bit less about me and a bit more about awesome.
Thursday, 9 September 2010
soundtrack to teenage years
do you think you could choose 20 songs that define you as a teenager? those crucial years for any music lover that essentially mold your likes and dislikes as you become an adult? the years that shape the type of person you grow into perhaps?
drastic i know. i've given it a go, and it was rather difficult as my memory utterly sucks balls, but here i feel are 20 songs that have meant a lot to me growing up. and even though i'm trying to avoid being one of those indie playlist pricks who pour so much 'love' and 'heart' into what is essentially a bunch of fucking songs, i can tell you now i have insatiable amounts of joy for these tracks.
in more-or-less chronological order:
limp bizkit - rollin
blink 182 - what's my age again?
nirvana - come as you are
foo fighters - everlong
r.e.m. - the great beyond
queens of the stone age - better living through chemistry
the smashing pumpkins - cherub rock
biffy clyro - 57
brand new - okay i believe you but my tommy gun don't
interpol - evil
coheed and cambria - the crowing
the fall of troy - you got a death wish, johnny truant?
at the drive-in - one armed scissor
alexisonfire - no transitory
a wilhelm scream - the king is dead
refused - shape of punk to come
city and colour - save your scissors
pendulum - slam (ha, yeah, but it opened such a gateway for me)
wu-tang clan - bring da ruckus
cypress hill - insane in the brain
writing this list has inspired me to bust on some brand new. jesse lacey is such a hero. if having willies up my bum was a lifestyle choice, i'd let him have his way with me.
music is great. don't forget it.
drastic i know. i've given it a go, and it was rather difficult as my memory utterly sucks balls, but here i feel are 20 songs that have meant a lot to me growing up. and even though i'm trying to avoid being one of those indie playlist pricks who pour so much 'love' and 'heart' into what is essentially a bunch of fucking songs, i can tell you now i have insatiable amounts of joy for these tracks.
in more-or-less chronological order:
limp bizkit - rollin
blink 182 - what's my age again?
nirvana - come as you are
foo fighters - everlong
r.e.m. - the great beyond
queens of the stone age - better living through chemistry
the smashing pumpkins - cherub rock
biffy clyro - 57
brand new - okay i believe you but my tommy gun don't
interpol - evil
coheed and cambria - the crowing
the fall of troy - you got a death wish, johnny truant?
at the drive-in - one armed scissor
alexisonfire - no transitory
a wilhelm scream - the king is dead
refused - shape of punk to come
city and colour - save your scissors
pendulum - slam (ha, yeah, but it opened such a gateway for me)
wu-tang clan - bring da ruckus
cypress hill - insane in the brain
writing this list has inspired me to bust on some brand new. jesse lacey is such a hero. if having willies up my bum was a lifestyle choice, i'd let him have his way with me.
music is great. don't forget it.
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
trapezius spasms and all that
if i'd known that stretching was such a health risk i'd never do it. if i'd known that doing it might cause unprecedented amounts of pain, then i might have actively set up support schemes and awareness groups warning those not to partake in this deceptively pleasing motion. long story short STRETCHING IS EVIL.
well ok ok only if you do it like a retard such as i.
here comes my anecdote. after a fairly straightforward first half of the day at the office i decided to go full on with my stretching and reach for the stars as i prepared to take on the daunting evening sector of my work day. little did i know that doing so would absolutely cripple me and i'd be in the a&e room faster than you can say lolololol. turns out i've partially buggered this massive bastard. i present the trapezius muscle:
bit of a trap door, you'd say...?
don't worry i know where my coat is.
so i guess the moral of the story is to resist doing andy dufresne impressions when gearing yourself up for a mammoth task. you'll only have yourself to blame when you end up walking round like a spastic who can't even buckle his own seatbelt.
in matters that don't make me appear like a worn-out old bellend, the evening saw the pilot of this is england 86, something i've haven't anticipated as much since that disappointing sex scene in the first mass effect game. overall i thought it was... pretty great. i've read a few brief thoughts of others and a lot of people seem to think that the humour of the original film is being forced upon the audience this time around. i can kinda see there point i suppose, but i still think the episode gently carries the meadows charm throughout through its understandably slow pace. i loved being reintroduced to the characters i'd nearly forgotten about, and i'm eager to see how they evolve and interact over the next few episodes. shaun's darker character seems a lot more convincing this time round as well, but by and large the gang haven't changed much so it'll be interesting so see how meadows deals with them in a series format.
AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING IN WOODY'S ACCENT.
but yes, watch it on 4od if you get the chance. i can't endorse shane meadows enough.
so yeah that'll do. i know i said i'd do a reading review, but then i wasn't expecting a fucking muscle spasm, was i? it'll grace this page eventually, so long as i don't completely forget what happened. i'm struggling to remember every band i saw that weekend to be quite honest.
well ok ok only if you do it like a retard such as i.
here comes my anecdote. after a fairly straightforward first half of the day at the office i decided to go full on with my stretching and reach for the stars as i prepared to take on the daunting evening sector of my work day. little did i know that doing so would absolutely cripple me and i'd be in the a&e room faster than you can say lolololol. turns out i've partially buggered this massive bastard. i present the trapezius muscle:
bit of a trap door, you'd say...?don't worry i know where my coat is.
so i guess the moral of the story is to resist doing andy dufresne impressions when gearing yourself up for a mammoth task. you'll only have yourself to blame when you end up walking round like a spastic who can't even buckle his own seatbelt.
in matters that don't make me appear like a worn-out old bellend, the evening saw the pilot of this is england 86, something i've haven't anticipated as much since that disappointing sex scene in the first mass effect game. overall i thought it was... pretty great. i've read a few brief thoughts of others and a lot of people seem to think that the humour of the original film is being forced upon the audience this time around. i can kinda see there point i suppose, but i still think the episode gently carries the meadows charm throughout through its understandably slow pace. i loved being reintroduced to the characters i'd nearly forgotten about, and i'm eager to see how they evolve and interact over the next few episodes. shaun's darker character seems a lot more convincing this time round as well, but by and large the gang haven't changed much so it'll be interesting so see how meadows deals with them in a series format.
AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING IN WOODY'S ACCENT.
but yes, watch it on 4od if you get the chance. i can't endorse shane meadows enough.
so yeah that'll do. i know i said i'd do a reading review, but then i wasn't expecting a fucking muscle spasm, was i? it'll grace this page eventually, so long as i don't completely forget what happened. i'm struggling to remember every band i saw that weekend to be quite honest.
Thursday, 2 September 2010
imaaaaaaginaaatiiioon
hey kids! sorry i haven't updated for a while, i've been away and working and having heartburn and all sorts of bloody reasons. accept my apologies, and also forgive me for breaking your hearts further and leaving you with a relatively short entry this evening. i've had such a long week thus far i just don't have the heart to channel all my thoughts into one entry! so tonight i'm going to briefly talk about one thing that means a lot to me.
imagination.
imagination is great. and let me tell you why. my current job involves talking to people. lots. i ring people up, explain educational programmes and talk about their children's progress at school. it's very interesting, but it's often quite monotonous and as a result i don't get much thinking time. however, today i was given the task of cleaning out the office's meeting room, as simply put it looked like a torpedo had gone on a mass raping spree in there with a particular fetish for disused cardboard.
anyway, simply put, whenever i undertake a task on my own, my imagination runs wild, and today's events made me grateful for it. i attribute my vivid imagination to my childhood i suppose. time spent playing videogames, reading books, watching football and dreaming of being better things means that even as a full grown adult my mind can take me to awesome places. i have lists of characters, adventures and weird and wonderful places that i love revisiting, and it makes me so damn happy. to anyone who doesn't have at least a tiny bit of imagination, do try and rectify this. it's incredible.
also, any excuse to post this.
next time expect a bit of a reading review. it was amazing, but a few hiccups along the way. i feel this picture perfectly encapsulates my experience.
until next time. love life.
imagination.
imagination is great. and let me tell you why. my current job involves talking to people. lots. i ring people up, explain educational programmes and talk about their children's progress at school. it's very interesting, but it's often quite monotonous and as a result i don't get much thinking time. however, today i was given the task of cleaning out the office's meeting room, as simply put it looked like a torpedo had gone on a mass raping spree in there with a particular fetish for disused cardboard.
anyway, simply put, whenever i undertake a task on my own, my imagination runs wild, and today's events made me grateful for it. i attribute my vivid imagination to my childhood i suppose. time spent playing videogames, reading books, watching football and dreaming of being better things means that even as a full grown adult my mind can take me to awesome places. i have lists of characters, adventures and weird and wonderful places that i love revisiting, and it makes me so damn happy. to anyone who doesn't have at least a tiny bit of imagination, do try and rectify this. it's incredible.
also, any excuse to post this.
next time expect a bit of a reading review. it was amazing, but a few hiccups along the way. i feel this picture perfectly encapsulates my experience.
until next time. love life.
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