Technobabble.

The time has finally come for me to invest in a new laptop. Oooooh my days.

See it's been five years (more or less) since the purchase of my current machine, and the battered macbook that has affectionately become known as 'Old Whitey' can truly take no more. I almost feel sorry for the poor old bastard as he trundles along, moaning like a capsized whale as I load up a puny word document, as if the world's gone full circle and it's the end of days. The thing can't even operate without being hooked up to a power socket. It's one dynamic trait as a laptop ripped away, like a violent circumcision. The shame of it all.

Oh it's ever so dramatic. BUT THAT'S LIFE OLD WHITEY. You came in, did your duty, made me look like the pretentious prick with my skinny jeans and thick rimmed glasses and Macintosh laptop. Ooh la la. And I'll always love you for it, but it's time to go. You've turned into the one thing that has gone and made you obsolete. Rubbish.

Being the mac fan boy, I'm looking into a macbook pro, of course. Mightily expensive though, but those good folks at DLA have for some reason decided that I deserve crunk loads of money so what the hey? Providing I can swindle it tax free, I think I'll go for the 15-inch, 2.0 GHz quad-core i7, 4GB 1333MHz 5400 RPM Intel... OH BALLS TO THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ALL THAT MEANS. IT'LL BE BITCHIN' THOUGH.

I think I'll even take up photo editing, seeing as one of the main selling points in reviews is 'look how many photos I can edit! Wow!' And seriously, how the hell can a laptop be 'aerodynamic'? What does that even mean? Does it fly? For the money I'll be paying it better do.

This has all been a welcome distraction from feeling a bit rough lately though. Vincristine is so evil. In fact, if I ever get a dog I think I'll call it vincristine. Keep your enemies close and all that. The pain it's caused to my muscles, bones and organs has been unprecedented, yet all they can say at the hospital is 'man up', because it's the only option I have. I hate the stuff. Oh well, it's not like I have to have shots of it for the next two and a half years or anything HAHA. Oh wait...

I do.

This weekend I'm going to watch Thor I think. You know what the most exciting thing about the cinema is? ICE BLASTS. And when you mix the two colours so it's blue AND red? Magical.

Much love,

Ryan.